When we break free from societal norms and expectations to pursue our own goals and dreams, we inspire others to do the same. By sharing our experiences and insights, we can help others navigate the obstacles and challenges they may face along the way. Being an example of change is not just about achieving personal success; it’s also about using our platform and influence to uplift and empower those around us.
Natalie Stavola is an example of change and is empowering the lives of many with her life coaching programs. In this interview, Natalie shares a part of her journey into becoming an example of change.
What according to you makes one a transformational woman? How do you integrate the same thought into your leadership?
I think awareness. Awareness and implementing that awareness would make anyone transformational. Specifically, with women, being a transformational woman would be becoming aware that there are cultural biases, objectifications, different traumas based on gender and races… and learning how to heal from all of that and becoming who you were meant to be (or come back to yourself). Learning how to stand up and speak up for yourself and others – I believe that to be a powerful tool to use for anyone in the leadership position.
How I personally integrate this into my own leadership is by healing and learning. Healing from the things that hurt me and learning to see myself more clearly and respectfully. The more clearly I see myself and honor and respect myself, the more clearly I can see those around me and honor and respect them as well.
Transforming myself so I can help show others how to do the same and join in to be a leader in change.
Talk to us about your growing up years. What is your earliest memory as a leader?
I grew up in Connecticut and then we moved to Florida right before my teen years. So, I got the best of both worlds – New York City and winters full of snow… then spending my time in the ocean as much as possible. I’m a city woman meets outdoorsy woman through and through.
My earliest memory as a leader is being an older sister. When my brother was born, we were pretty close in age, but I always looked at him, even when we were babies, as this is my family, I will protect this person and lead this person as best as I can. I couldn’t say “baby brother” when my parents introduced me to him, so I called him Bobo. I still call him by that name to this day.
There were times when our parents would compare us (as parents do) because I always had my nose in a book and my brother was, I believe at that time, struggling with his grades. I remember even then, as teenagers, understanding that the books I was reading were FANTASY, they were an escape for me. Not something to be compared to and make someone else feel bad about. I pulled my brother to the side one day and I told him that, “don’t even listen to them or anyone else compare you to me or others. I am reading these books because I’m escaping in them. They’re not even academic. You keep listening to what you need and find your path.”
He went on to go to college and become an award-winning journalist. He’s got a masters now and continues his education.
Exeleon Shorts:
One Book Entrepreneurs Must Read – The Mountain is You by Brianna Wiest
One Productivity Tool / App that Everyone Should Use – Notes (lol so simple)
One Podcast / Course that you would Recommend – TBM To Be Magnetic
One Movie / Show that you would Recommend – The Woman King
One Quote that Motivates you the Most – “Do your work. When you’re scared, do it anyways.”
One Investment Advice that you Follow – Invest in yourself. Wait for the fear and insecurity to pass so you’re not doing it from lack mindset and then spending money on things that won’t help (confirmation bias.) Invest in yourself. It’s worth it. More people will benefit from you investing in you first. Be an example.
What prompted your interest and subsequently your foray into the coaching space?
Growing up, helping others was always something that felt natural. I used to give everything I had away (I was that type of kid). To the utter shock of my parents at times. I grew up with a lot of chaos and trying to figure people out, so naturally I wound up getting a degree in psychology and communications. I used to double major in Criminology and Psychology (that was fun!) I’ve always been fascinated with human behavior… I’m also an actress so I love tackling characters and diving into the WHY behind people’s actions… and the HOW behind overcoming obstacles and pain to reach your dreams.
After college, I started focusing on acting but then addiction took over… I was in a lot of pain from the toxic relationships I’d been in, I was trying to cope and was destroying myself in the process. I was still helping others; I was still giving everything I had to everyone around me, I just had to learn how to give and be there for others without it costing me my sanity, my mental health, and me anymore. I had to learn how to stop the chaos from childhood that still lived inside of me and learn to choose healthy over comfort.
After I got sober and healed more, I wanted to share that. I got certified for coaching, for NLP (neurolinguistics programming, similar to what Tony Robbins does), continued mentoring and coaching, continued doing the work with my own coaches, sponsors, therapists, healers, and the recovery programs I love… and started learning what I pass on to my clients…
Learning your worth, your boundaries, your values, your standards and moving in alignment. Learn to pour into your cup FIRST and then pour into others (as best as we can). Getting comfortable with your own depths, and finding people who are on the same journey as you… finding your aligned partnerships.
My entire life and overcoming my own obstacles prompted me to be a coach and help others do the same. I get to be an example today.
What is the approach followed by you in your coaching to ensure optimal client satisfaction?
I’m not sure if it’s an approach so much as just care and consideration for the client, but it’s just about paying attention to their goals and needs and discovering what’s working and what’s not and then using the tools to remove the blocks standing in the way of their goals.
We find the issues, we discover the solutions, we use the tools to get it done. I think what ensures satisfaction the most is that we’re doing this together and they’re seeing the results for themselves. They’re doing it. They see they can do it. That they’ve had the power and empowerment all along. I just get to help them through their journey.
You have spoken about addiction and abuse as some of your biggest challenges, among many others in your journey. For people facing similar challenges, what would be your biggest advice?
GET HELP!!! ASK FOR HELP! The moment you start hearing yourself or your head say, “It’s fine. I’m fine. I CAN FIGURE IT OUT!” Nooooooo. Grab the phone, call the substance abuse hotline or whatever hotline you want or a HEALTHY friend, and GET HELP. We DO NOT DO THIS ALONE. No one does. Not even the “self-made millionaires”. EVERYONE has help. Even if it’s from their parents or mentors or whoever… EVERYONE has help. Don’t do this alone. I DEFINITELY do not.
There’s no such thing as a bottom, the bottom keeps getting worse. You can stop and get help and get out of the dark place you’re in, find out how. Get help from the people who have been through it and OUT of it now, too.
Being an entrepreneur, speaker, coach, actor, and more, what does a day in the life of Natalie Stavola look like? How do you ensure work-life balance?
Luckily for me, I’m doing a lot of things that bring me joy. So, most of the time I have to find my balance between how much I am giving to others and in what ways I am giving back to myself.
Without art and acting, I’m pretty much useless to others. I have to fill my soul up in order to hold space for others. That’s the main balance for me.
A typical day looks like… wake up, meditate (or at least put it on and breathe deeply) make my coffee (latte!), jump into coaching (helping someone wakes me up the fastest), audition, or work on a script or read/write, then pause… ask myself “what do I need now”… this is where I’ll go hang out with a friend, go to a dance class, cultivate joy in some way… something that makes me silly happy.
Throughout the day, I’m checking in with my sponsors and coaches and mentees.
I wish I could give some huge magic “this is how you do work-life balance” that would blow someone’s mind… but it’s really simple. And the same thing I pass on to clients now… I LISTEN to myself today. I’m a much better listener to myself and my needs… so I check in throughout the day and see where am I hiding or playing small? Where am I overworking now? Am I escaping anything? What do I need? How do I meet that need?
It gets so much faster to be in that flow of life and pivot when life is doing its life thing and throwing things my way… I’m good today. I listen to those needs, I meet them. And when I fall short, I love myself through it and have incredible people around me today that we walk through this whole thing together. I do not do this alone.
What are some of the most intricate things that we often get wrong in relationships? And how can one overcome this for a sustainable relationship and life?
The pain and limiting beliefs we picked up from childhood that are still on repeat in adulthood.
Everything and everyone around can be (and typically is) a mirror for what’s going on inside of us. The answers are already within each of us. Your answers are already inside of you… get with someone who’s good at helping you read your own answers, heal, overcome, and find your truths.
Learn how to drop your guard and up your boundaries. Guards block good things and great people. Boundaries help let the good things in and keep out the things that hurt you or don’t align with you.
Finally, what does the future look like for you and your brand? What are you most excited about?
Expanding and helping more people. I am so excited about just growing my platform and becoming more of an example of what it looks like to overcome anything and showing others how to do the same.
Ultimately, what I would love to do is film-make more, be on set more, create, and just pass out all of this information for others to live their best lives, too.
Contact Natalie Stavola on Instagram.
Visit Natalie Stavola on LinkedIn.
