Written By Robert Hargrove, Co-Founder Harvard Leadership Project, Author Masterful Coaching
I grew up in a Boston immigrant neighborhood. My father was a mailman and my mother worked as a secretary at City Hall. We weren’t poor—we always had food—but we lived modestly in a third-story walk-up near Franklin Park, driving a second-hand Ford with no heater.
We were the “poor cousins,” while my Uncle Mike’s family lived in a Tudor house in Brookline, driving a yellow Chrysler convertible and vacationing in Miami. That stark contrast made me wonder early on: How do people make it to the top? What sets them apart?
This curiosity shaped my career. As an editor at The Boston Globe, I interviewed icons like Ted Kennedy, Salvador Dalí, Muhammad Ali, and Diana Vreeland. I wanted to uncover the stories of how they ascended, recognizing that many started at the bottom, just like me.
Later, in business consulting, I worked with thought leaders like Peter Senge and became a CEO Whisperer, advising top leaders from Fortune 500 companies, including Nike, Fidelity Investments, General Motors, Toyota, and Exxon Mobil. My mission remained the same—understanding what separates those who rise to the top from the rest.
What I’ve learned is that success isn’t just about talent or luck. It’s driven by five key traits:
1. Character Skills vs. Personality
I met Greg Goff at my Masterful Coaching Masterclass in London, just as the 9/11 attacks unfolded, giving us invaluable time to connect. Greg’s personal and organizational ambitions impressed me, leading us to forge a strong coaching relationship. I called the CEO of ConocoPhillips and said, “You have a hidden gem on your hands here.”
From that moment, Greg’s career skyrocketed. He progressed from Team Leader to Country Manager and ultimately became CEO of Andeavor, where he was named Fortune’s CEO of the Year. He later stepped aside to pursue other ventures, including a position on the ExxonMobil board.
Recently, Greg told me, “Robert, I want to talk to you about something that’s a mystery even to me. Everyone wants to work with me.” He mentioned that each month, big companies ask him to be their CEO or join their boards. Billionaires seek to invest in his ventures. He noted, “Young people want to work with me and my foundation for free.”
I’m unsure about the mystery either, but I suspect it’s Greg’s character that activates the law of attraction in his favor. He embodies the qualities great leaders possess—ambition, empathy, integrity, responsibility, humility, and self-reflectiveness. While he has a pleasant personality, he can be somewhat introverted, which further highlights his authentic character.
In contrast, many individuals I’ve encountered rely on superficial gestures—using your first name repeatedly and suggesting, “Let’s have dinner sometime,” while only aiming to take advantage of you.
Rate Yourself—Rock Solid Character
2. Doubleness of Ambition
Ambition is key to reaching the top. If you lack ambition, you’ll never get there. Abraham Lincoln’s law partner, William Herndon, once said, “Lincoln is a little engine of ambition.” He constantly plotted and planned his rise to success despite his humble beginnings.
The “doubleness” of ambition is crucial. When Lincoln reached the pinnacle of power by being elected president, he focused on his ambition for the US. He wanted the country to guarantee the rights stated in the Declaration of Independence for all citizens and issued the Emancipation Proclamation.
CEOs and senior leadership teams must remember that while personal and organizational ambitions are vital, excelling in annual performance reviews isn’t enough. You need to accumulate political power and learn to master the political chessboard.
Rate Yourself: Big Personal and Org Ambitions
3. Brightness (Intelligence)
Most successful people I’ve worked with are bright, though not necessarily geniuses. A common trait among them is the ability to make complex issues simple.
Chief Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes once chided a lawyer presenting a complex case, saying, “I don’t give a damn about simplicity this side of complexity, but I would give everything for simplicity on the other side.”
Tom Kaiser, one of my successful CEO clients at Zurich Corporate Solutions, exemplifies a leader who can simplify the complex. Instead of getting lost in elaborate strategic planning, he would gather his team and say, “We are all here to create and keep customers at a profit. That’s your job, whether you are the CEO, COO, marketer, or designer.” Everyone is in marketing; everyone is in sales—from the CEO to the receptionist.
Rate Yourself: Making the Complex Simple
4. Social Skills
Many leaders boast impressive credentials: “I am an MBA from Harvard,” “I’ve got a PhD in Engineering from Stanford,” or “I’m a CPA.” Yet, I rarely see individuals reach the top solely because of their degrees or resumes.
The best CEOs and founders may have good credentials, but what helps them ascend to power is their likability and ability to think and work together with people—even those who disagree with them. Leaders with strong social skills are multipliers; they make others feel smarter and more capable. In contrast, diminishers make others feel incompetent, sucking the energy out of team meetings.
People with strong social skills frequently use “we” instead of “I.” They recruit brilliant minds and teach them to collaborate. Furthermore, they make everyone feel like they’re on a mission from God, instilling a sense of accountability not just to the boss but to each other. As Maya Angelou says, “I need to be my best so I can hold you accountable for being your best.”
Rate Yourself: Working Together with Others
5. Coachability
One notable trait among my CEO and enterprise clients is their consistent request for coaching, even after their rapid ascent to power.
In contrast, those who struggle to rise often appear indifferent to coaching and mentoring, saying, “I’ve got this,” or dismissing coaching as “blah, blah, blah.” These individuals, even after reaching high ranks, confront uncomfortable truths rather than blaming others. They are the first to admit their mistakes publicly and focus on correcting them, viewing adversity not as an enemy but as a valuable opportunity for growth and learning. Have you asked anyone for coaching lately?
Rate Yourself: Request for Coaching
Conclusion
All these skills and traits are teachable and learnable. Start by rating yourself from 1 to 5 stars on each trait (1 the lowest, 5 the highest) and consider your personal and professional impact. If you need further assistance, feel free to contact me at MasterfulCoaching.com or write to Robert.Hargrove@RHargrove.com.
